My grandma passed away today...

Almost 5am this morning, the phone rang and broken the silent in the whole house. While I was still sitting at my desk, many thoughts sprang through my tired mind. One of them is about my grandmother in Malaysia. The thought of loosing her flooded my mind and I was scared.

I hopped to the phone in the living room and I heard a familiar voice over the line. She is my mum's sister-in-law from Malaysia... my heart sank... she broke the news to me and I sank in further... my mum's dear mother... is dead. I told my mum... she tried to hide her tears...

I suddenly hated myself as I am not able to walk and how I wish I could go see my grandmother one more time. The last time I saw her was last year when she came to Singapore to attend my sister's wedding. She missed me so much and me too. We chatted away happily. Although she was almost blind but I could feel her happiness while being in Singapore.

After a couple of days from the wedding, she went home. She almost immediately fell ill. She was admitted to hospital and we thought that she must be sick somewhere. Later on, the doctor told us that she wasnt sick at all but she was just too old already. Her organs were all failing her and her body was weak.

She was discharged and went home as the doctor advised us and also to be prepared for her departure. I guess we all were. She is 80yrs old already and at least she died in her sleep. I hate myself that if I could walk after that last review, my mum would have gone back to Malaysia to take care of her and may see her at the last moment... it is all my fault!

Now I missed her so much... I have no more grandparents now... I wanted to go back to visit her very much and I did decide to go after I could walk again... but it is too late... just too late.

My mum tried to put on a strong front infront of me. She said that for her mother had lived up to this age, it is already very fortunate for us. Chinese believes that for an elder at these age, it is a moment to rejoice than mourn... it is easier to be said than done.

In my life now, who's left is my mum now. All my grandparents, including my dad had left us behind. Mum, I love you!

At 2pm, my mum left house for Malaysia. She would only be back after 2 weeks at least. Today, my wife went for flight to LA too. She would be back only after 6 days... My sister promised my mum that she would take care of me while she's away. I am such a burden... argh!

Now, I only have Skippy.....


Cv'.v'p

(Oh my goodness, my dinner how?!?!?!)